First Birthday

May 5, 2003

Dear Grace,

Happy 1^st Birthday!  I’m so glad you’re here.  You make our family complete. 

I hope to write an annual birthday letter telling you about your previous year.  Let’s start this letter at the beginning: the day I learned of my pregnancy with you.  After five months of trying to conceive, I had a hunch in August of 2001 you were on your way.  My suspicion was confirmed by a home pregnancy test I took before Dad awoke.  Before showing him the result, I was already overwhelmed with joy and excitement.  I believed God had given me a second chance to take better care of myself during a critical time: pregnancy.      

Around the ten-week mark, on September 11, 2001 I had an early morning OB/GYN appointment.  Dr. Roberts heard your heartbeat for the first time and so did I.  Excited by the vibrations of your beating heart, I left the doctor’s office headed for the gym.  Walking in, I noticed a crowd gathered around TVs in the dining area which was highly unusual for a Tuesday morning.  As I approached the TV’s, I realized something was terribly amiss.  Everyone was speechless as we watched the falling of New York City’s twin towers as a result of a terrorist attack.  Surreal best described that moment: I heard your heartbeat minutes earlier; your life was confirmed just as many others tragically lost theirs.

We lived in Atlanta while I was pregnant with you but plans to move to Utah the summer after your birth were in motion.  Even though you were conceived in Utah, I wasn’t convinced Utah was the best place for you and Harry.   

For most of my pregnancy, Harry was three years old.  He understood a baby sister was on his horizon, but I don’t think he realized the full impact you would have on HIS life.  Nevertheless, he was sweet to you.  I’ll never forget when he thought to wish you a “Happy Easter” weeks before your birth.  Dad brought Harry to meet you while we were still in the hospital.  He couldn’t stop watching you as he vacillated between excitement and nervousness, but he was interested in learning how to care for a baby.  Now just over four years old, Harry would speculate why you were crying those first few weeks we were home.  As we began to know you better, I realized Harry was usually right!  He struggled, though, with the time and attention you were given that he no longer received.  While your arrival brought such joy, I also felt sad about losing undivided time with Harry.  You’re a lucky girl to have Harry for a big brother.  He’s sweet and loving and hopefully he will watch out for you when you’re older. 

While taking care of you has been a top priority, this past year has been hectic and I miss spending more quality time with you.  We moved from Atlanta when you were only six weeks old.  We spent a week in Chicago while Dad packed. 

At nine months old, we bought a house in Park City and moved from the condo in Midway, Utah in June 2003.  Can you believe barely over a year old and you’ve lived in three different houses in two separate states?  As you can imagine, life has been stressful for which I apologize.  I hope we find the right place for you.    

Now to talk about you.  To begin with, you were not happy about being born.  I suspect no baby really is, but you let everyone know that you protested the event.  The nurses (and Dr. Roberts) commented on your powerful lungs.  The first moment I saw your face, other than being instantly and deeply in love, I remember thinking you resembled Harry.

Like most newborns, you slept frequently.  You were not an eager eater at first and you even lost a few ounces by the time we left the hospital.  Losing weight after birth is typical, but you didn’t regain weight quickly, perhaps because you were more interested in sleeping!  Look at you now though, you’re a beautiful, healthy, one year old who LOVES to eat.  Your favorite foods are bananas, yogurt, small crackers, Cheerios, and green beans.  You LOVED your vanilla birthday cake with chocolate frosting that Harry helped me make.  He insisted we sing “Happy Birthday” to you first thing the morning of your birthday.   

You have a demonstrative personality.  You let people know how you feel.  You’re currently in a stage of wanting to be held by mom.  I oblige easily as I can’t resist when you crawl to my legs and hold up your arms.  I hope you always feel you can come to me and I’ll do whatever I can to pick you up. 

You frequently imitate behaviors and you’re especially good at imitating noises and movements with your mouth.  You speak a few words: “uh oh, and Nick”.  Nick was actually your first word.  He’s our beloved Black Lab who’s patient and gentle with you. 

You’re interested in the world around you, especially the great outdoors.  You love watching anything that moves: birds, horses, cars, etc. 

Mercifully, you’re finally outgrowing the concept of putting everything in your mouth.  I have yanked many wads of paper off your tongue as well as countless other small objects.  Once though, a single band-aide cleared your entire digestive tract without me noticing until the end result!  I’m glad you love to explore. 

I hope next year brings more stability for our family and that we have more time to just be.  I’m writing this letter on an airplane to Chicago for the Food Marketing Institute trade show.  In reflecting on our year, maybe working right now is not in our collective best interest.  When faced with difficult decisions, I hope to make the right one now and in the future.  I’m sure to make mistakes, but please know that from the bottom of my heart, I love you!

Always, Mom