May 16, 2010
Dear Grace,
Happy 8th Birthday!
While lounging poolside at Red Mountain, I write this year’s letter. Watching children play in the pool reminds me of times you and Harry have played together in this very pool. Fond memories emerge of your 1st year on the Racquet Club swim team…you’re a Park City Piranha! You’ve asked to join swim team again this summer; I’m curious if you like swim team as much this summer. Breaststroke and Freestyle were your favorite strokes last year, but true to your nature, you gave them all a shot!
This past winter you mounted your first snowboard and lessoned through the Park City Saturday Free Ride Program with Jeremy. Learning the fundamentals was a blast for you! I can tell you this now that as the winter progressed, Daddy and I, on separate occasions, were asked your age. The stranger’s response was always the same, “I can’t believe how well she boards for a seven-year-old!” I was once stopped by two teenagers; one of the two boys commented while teasing the other, “she shreds better than my friend!” I’m thrilled you have found an enjoyable winter sport. More fond memories developed watching you and Harry act as comrades during runs down Eaglet…Harry always offering advice on how best to approach a box or ball. Harry’s ability to convey the key essentials when navigating through the Park City terrain parks was impressive. Just remember to try new challenges only when you’re ready and not when someone pushes you.
Just like last year, it’s taking time for me to complete this letter. I didn’t finish the letter at Red Mountain but I’m continuing while watching you and Harry play tetherball. For the last month, every day after school you relay each tetherball game detail from recess. On your long list of opponents are: Koji, Karina, Jacob, Sam, Kevin, Jake, but your favorite partner is Karina.
Lanny, Megan, Isabella, and Harry attended your birthday party at Jump On It. I admire your indifference to large birthday parties. One or two close friends are enough. I feel privileged to still feel included as a friend. While as your mother, I occasionally make decisions contrary to your wants, but rather what I believe are in your best interest. It’s frustrating when you’re upset but first and foremost, I am your mother. Although, I may not be much help with your intensely competitive side, but I’ll try! You recently said, “winning a game gives you a good feeling in your stomach”, you further expressed, “when I lose a game, I feel like a big loser”. Sweetheart, you’re never a big loser; try to remember it’s only a game. I admire that you play to win, but my advice is to be sensitive to friends, colleagues, or even acquaintances who do not share your love of a good competition because their feelings may be easily hurt by your desire to win. Another interesting comment you made this year, “when someone likes Harry better than me, it makes me feel like I don’t fit in.” As an observer (and as your mother), my hunch is that you may feel that way because you’re strong, independent, and know what you like. Remember to hold true to you…your interests, your values, and your inner strength and beauty!
It occurred to me that I haven’t written much yet about 2nd grade with Mrs. Dodwin. You enjoyed her class and her wacky sense of humor! The big decision this year, in reference to your education, has been whether or not to enroll you in the new charter school. You’ve adamantly resisted the proposition!
Thank God you have been sheltered from Daddy’s difficult year. His follow up tests to confirm if he remains cancer-free are instead “inconclusive”. His team of physicians are watching two slightly enlarged para-aortic lymph nodes. To date, his physicians cannot unequivocally call them cancerous, but because the lymph nodes grew slightly from one test to another, they’re concerned, and so are we. His early March test showed no change but we’re not out of the woods yet. Perhaps with a cancer diagnosis, no one is ever out of the woods. Grace, I pray daily that Daddy stays healthy, but I’ve had to come to terms that I have no control over this situation. I do my best to keep his life as stress-free as possible. The irony is that I no longer like Daddy’s risky diversions; the stress and demands of chasing a high-profile life are utterly worthless because material possessions are fleeting at best, and caustic at worst. As a result of his health crisis, I now long for a more simplistic and cautious life.
I think one reason for my pursuit of EAGALA (Equine Assisted Growth and Learning Association) has been some sort of self-help recovery method. I’ve devoted an incredible amount of time and energy towards this field, which I find potentially rewarding for participants, but from a business model perspective, one that’s incredibly difficult to get off the ground. You haven’t liked how much time my pursuit has taken, but I hope one day you understand. I’m ready to do more outside the home, ideally, I would like to earn an income too. Factors beyond my control may dictate whether it’s more important to pursue a path I personally find rewarding and potentially helpful to others, or follow a more financially stable career. Whatever our future holds, I truly hope that you’re always able to pursue your passion, your interests, because I have no doubt that when you set your mind to accomplish a goal, you will succeed…always indeed!
I’m so very proud of you!!!
Love always, Mom
