May 16, 2007
Dear Grace,
Happy 5th Birthday! Our little girl is growing up so quickly.
We’ve had an incredible year, filled with ups, but downs too. You, my dear, are flourishing. You started reading, really reading within the last month. Most of this school year you worked on letter boxes whereby you practice the sound of a letter and then choose plastic figurines that begin with the same sound. Interestingly, you were stuck mid-year as you mixed up sounds for a particular letter. Your teacher, Miss Nina, and Aunt Annabelle, gave us home exercises to reinforce learning the correct sound for each letter. You persevered, even when extra time was needed to remember the correct sound for each letter. I’ve been quite proud of you, watching you overcome a hurdle to get where you needed to be. Congratulations for not giving up! I certainly admire your drive and determination!
You’ve also made new friends this year. Bella continues to be one of your best friends which is nice for me as I’m quite fond of her mother. I’ve witnessed Bella spring to your side more than once when you’ve been upset. Your newer friends, best I can tell, are Andrew & Lauren (twins). You started talking about Andrew at Christmas time. You were paired to dance together in a Nutcracker-themed Holiday performance. Andrew’s mom, Katie, and I have noticed the crush between you two. One of my favorite memories started one random winter morning; we had just left our street on the way to school when I realized I had forgotten your sled. I asked if you’d like to go back for it. You replied, in such a grown-up tone I might add, “Oh no, mom, I don’t need my sled; I can share with Andrew.” I relayed the story to Katie, which made you quite upset with me. In the future, I promise to watch myself more carefully so as not to say something stupid, betray a confidence, or inappropriately share a story that’s better left between us. One last Andrew story, something to think about. I guess he went home one day from school upset with you. When Katie asked him what happened, Andrew replied, “I may have to break up with Lara because she got mad at me for sitting next to the teacher, not her, for circle time.” The good news is that you both worked it out and remain good friends. Trust me, sweetheart, there will be plenty of opportunities in relationships with boys where you feel as though you’re communicating with each other but no one is getting the point. I believe patience is the key with boys; try to speak with them from their perspective which may be easier than expecting them to understand your perspective.
We’ve continued attending music class. Miss Maggie has pointed out several times that you’re able to maintain a steady beat, hear harmony, and play rhythm. You seem interested in the piano too. In fact, Harry spent some quality time with you one afternoon teaching you the keys and finger placement. Every so often, you and Harry sit together at the piano and play around, banging keys together. I love to listen. Of course, my dream is that both you and Harry learn to read music and play at least one instrument, but if you just enjoy music, I’d be happy. I’ve found music to be a wonderful outlet for emotion, whether you listen, sing, or dance to it, I’d love for you to have that same appreciation.
You haven’t had as much organized gymnastics instruction this year, but you still seem to enjoy tumbling and the trampoline. Your skiing also improved this winter, but after a few hours, you’re ready to stop for the day, especially when hot chocolate is involved!
Can you believe as I write this letter you have a terrible cough? I vaguely recall writing about a cough in a previous letter (since I sealed each prior letter, I cannot check which one). Although, if memory serves me right, you appear more symptomatic in the spring.
This year, we’ve encountered hardships as well. In August, we discovered that our beloved dog Nick had a bone tumor in his right hind leg. Two days after the diagnosis, we let Nick go. I believe he had been living in pain for quite some time, but it wasn’t until the very end that he really let us know. He was a wonderful dog and evidenced by the fact that “Nick” was your first word, I believe you and he developed a beautiful bond. The day Daddy and I took Nick to the vet for the last time, you and Harry were at a day camp. An end to Nick’s suffering was the only solace for Daddy and me that day. Afterwards, Daddy and I went for hike in the Uinta Mountains where we released a clump of Nick’s fur while hiking on one of his favorite trails. Harry, though, explained in the only way you understood that Nick was gone forever. You thought he was just at the vet and would return, but Harry simply said, “Nick’s heart stopped beating.”
While an incredibly sad time for us all, we delighted in the arrival of Augie! Do you remember driving to the airport to meet Miss Susan and Augie? I sure do! We both fell instantly in love with that adorable 8-week black Labrador puppy! Augie’s play biting, jumping, and scratching, were rough on you, but we managed to survive his first six months without too many destroyed toys (yours not his!).
The greatest hardship of all occurred on January 9, 2007; the day Daddy was diagnosed with colorectal cancer. Oh Grace, on some level, I’m relieved you’re young and cannot understand the seriousness of his diagnosis. Daddy’s cancer was classified as Stage III. He’s on a very intense protocol with the intention to “cure” his cancer. But what you also don’t understand is how difficult the diagnosis and treatment have been for him. And for whatever reason, he has pulled away from you the most. Perhaps he’s trying to protect you, or maybe he doesn’t exactly know how to react around you right now. But trust me, from watching the onslaught his mind, body, and spirit have endured over the last five months, I can tell you without a shadow of doubt that the worse he feels, the worse his tolerance for chaos becomes. His prognosis is good, but he has a long battle yet to fight. I have this unsettling feeling I’ll be writing about Daddy’s diagnosis in every letter from now until they’re given to you. Just remember, he loves and is proud of you!
All my love, Mom
